Separated At Birth?

At left is "Captain Kangaroo" Bob Keeshan. At right is Randy Jackson.

Funny Photos Part Deux

I found a few more that tickled me...

I see that Constantine subscribes to the Simon Cowell school of chest hair exposure.

These two look like they got lost on their way to a Zena: Warrior Princess convention.

"Hey kids! Try to look like even bigger idiots. Thanks!"

Newsboy cap? Check. Earpiece? Check. Futuristic sunglasses? Check. Pocket Square? Check. Overblown sense of self importance? Check.




Here he is again. I don't know why.

Boy, Chris Sligh is really hanging on to that 'FroBob he's got.

I guess it was pretty hot out there...

Funniest Photos From Last Night (Part 1?)

Here is my own personal photo gallery of the funniest photos from last night's red carpet. Please to enjoy...

Jerry was there just in case David Cook's Baby Mama showed up and tried to hit David Archuleta over the head with a folding chair. Just kidding, but what the heck was The Springer doing on that red carpet?

I hate Constantine. I really really do.

This picture makes me really sad for Ace. I smell a whiff of desperation.

Oh, no...Wait a second. That desperation was coming from Janice Dickenson. Sorry Ace.




Oh look, it's Sanjaya's sister.

I don't know why this is funny. It just is.



Simon is wondering why the eff Randy is dressed like Captain Kangaroo.

David Cook and David Archuleta Guitar Heroes

Here are both of the guitar hero commercials, top one David Cook, bottom David Archuleta. Decide for yourselves which is better...

I Just Watched The Guitar Hero Commercials...

...both Cook's and Archuleta's. I have to say, I was a little disturbed. Cook's cute but I wasn't prepared for the sight of him dancing around in his underwear. A little too much skin for me. And Archie's just felt wrong. I felt like a schoolteacher flirting with a student.

But I must say, commercial vs. commercial, Cook's was much better. He really committed, you know. Archuleta just couldn't quite pull off the underwear dancing. Plus, his boxers were so big they looked like they would swallow him whole. Funny concept, though. I hope they got nice paychecks from that. Tad bit embarrassing.


I prefer Sitar Hero myself...

Yyyyyeeeesssssss!!!!!!!!!

Mariska Hargitay, everyone. At least, that's how I originally planned to open this post about the American Idol season finale. I was going to throw out a pithy opening, use a few lines to discuss why Randy was dressed like a riverboat blackjack dealer, and move on to Ryan's strange and awkward dancing during the Donna Summer number. But once the results were announced, that plan flew out the window. Because as soon as Ryan said, "David Cook," I was so flabbergasted, so shocked, so speechless, and so THRILLED that the rest of the American Idol season 7 finale extravaganza seemed inconsequential.



I absolutely did not expect David Cook to win last night. If you read my post yesterday I really put forth what I thought was a quite sound postulation on the imminent win of David Archuleta. I seriously thought the guy had it. I didn't want him to win, but I didn 't imagine that he could be beat. Because if you read the message boards and blog comments you know that Archuleta has huge amounts of support. But I completely underestimated the will of those Cookie Monsters out there. Cook supporters turned out to vote in droves, and they must have kept at it all four hours, because he won by 12 million votes, according to Ryan Seacrest.



I think it's amazing that Cook, who has been a bit different, who represents the rock end of the music spectrum rather that the cheesy ballad singer end won American Idol. Cook really connected with the American Idol audience because he really can sing, he seems authentic, and he is such a nice guy. After the results were announced, you could see he wanted to be cool about it but just couldn't keep it together. Cook and his family are going through this crazy triumphant moment on television while another of the Cook sons is losing his battle with terminal cancer, and it seemed overwhelming for them all. I was touched by Cook's tears, and by his interaction with his mother and his brother, and by his brother's looking into the camera and saying, "That's my brother."


I guess what I'm saying is that this win couldn't have happened to a nicer guy and a nicer family. I'm so happy it turned out this way. David Archuleta will be fine. Nothing could stop that kid or his father's ambition, so I'm sure we will be seeing an album from him quite soon.

Anyway (deep breath) back to the show last night. Wow. I really don't have much snark in me this morning (other than to point out again Randy's really odd jacket/cravat situation). The show was absolutely the best finale in American Idol history. They jam packed that thing with celebrities and great musical numbers with cool performers. It was really entertaining. In past years I remember watching the finale and just wishing they would get to the end, but the show last night was really well done. The musical numbers where the Idol contestants sang with other acts were particularly great. Here are some of my favorite moments from the finale (and there are quite a few):

• Mike Myers as Guru Pitka trying to shave David Cook's beard. Now I'm going to have to see that movie even though I can't stand Jessica Alba. Darn you Myers and your funny characters.
  
  
• Seal singing with Syesha. When Seal came out, I knew that they were going to have some great talent show up.

• Ryan dancing during the Donna Summers number. I had to mention it again, we were rolling on the floor laughing. The guy has no rhythm.
  
  
• The guys singing with Brian Adams and especially Michael Johns singing "Summer of '69."

• Jason Castro singing Hallelujah again, with such confidence. He did it even better this time.

• Brooke White singing "Teach Your Children" with Graham Nash. I loved it when he kissed her hand at the end.
  
  
• David Cook rocking with ZZ Top. I wonder what the teenagers in the pit thought about those old guys with their beards. I kept saying to my husband that I wished they had rocked some songs like this earlier in the season.
  
  
• Gladys Knight and the "Pips" as reinvented by Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey, Jr. I had tears streaming down my face. This is off topic but it's so fantastic that R.D. JR has made such an incredible comeback. I've always loved him and am happy to see him off the drugs and back in the movies.

• David Archuleta singing "Apologize" with OneRepublic. Again, this would have been a great song for him earlier in the season. This type of song is exactly what he should be doing. I was blown away. (But still bothered by his closed eyes.)
  
  
• Simon Cowell apologizing to David Cook just before the results were read. He admitted that the previous night's competition had been closer than he thought, and that his comments were disrespectful. I was shocked, because Simon doesn't admit he's wrong very often, as certainly not as forcefully as he did last night. Pretty classy.
  
  
• Of course, the announcement of the winner. We went nuts at my house.
  

I still haven't taken it all in. I'm sure it will take a couple of weeks to sink in that the show isn't on. With the season finales of Bones, House and AI I'm preparing myself for the deep TV depression that will sink in next week when there is nothing on to watch. For now though, I'm just basking in the post-Idol glow of a well deserved victory for a worthy Idol contestant.

David vs. David

When the show started last night, for a minute I thought Ryan Seacrest had been fired and replaced by that "Let's get ready to ruuuummmmbbblllleee..." guy. But no, it was the beginning of a whole boxing theme that they carried on throughout the show. David One and David Two came on stage in satin robes and boxing gloves, and the boxing announcer got to say, "This...is American Idol!" I wonder how furious Seacrest was to be upstaged in this manner.

Anywho, I thought the boxing theme was a bit odd, and somewhat inappropriate considering that, in true physical combat, Cook would kick Archuleta's ass without breaking a sweat.

OK, before I go any further I have to say something that I've wanted to say all season. This will make some of you angry, but...I HATE David Cook's boots. What's the deal with those cowboy boots he always wears? They make his feet look humongous. It's like he's all head and feet. Can't they get the guy a more streamlined pair of shoes?

In other clothing news, Kristy Lee Cook was sitting in the audience (next to Michael Johns!) wearing a shirt that looked like it had been slashed by Freddy Krueger.

All right, all right. I'm done with my sartorial snarking. But here is something else that's weird. During Ryan's voiceover in the introductory video package, he says that the two Davids are going after, "A heavyweight title reserved only for superstars," and on the screen flashed a picture of Chris Daughtry. What??? I played it back to be sure, and yep, they show Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, and Carrie Underwood. Chris Daughtry did not win American Idol, remember? He was voted off in what was probably the most shocking send-off in the show's history. How can they include his face in that montage when he did not win the title? I seriously don't know what is going on with the producers this season. That just seems sleazy to me.

Also kind of dirty in that video package, Ryan calls Archuleta "a 17-year-old phenom," while he refers to Cook as a "25-year-old bartender." Ouch. Why couldn't he have been a 25-year-old rocker, or a 25-year-old sensation? Archie is a phenom while Cookie is just a bartender. It's like a not so smooth subliminal message.

And why is Andrew Lloyd Webber back? I know why Clive Davis gets to chime in, but why Sir Andrew? I don't like that guy. He's rude, but doesn't seem to care that he's always insulting people.

After the weird video package that included Jim Lampley, the guys were up on stage with Ryan and they showed what nice guys they both are, with Cook stating that the competition was already over as far as he was concerned and all they were doing last night was "having fun."

Fourteen minutes into the show the singing finally started. Round one songs were selected by Clive Davis. Cook, having lost the coin toss, went first with U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." He did great, as he usually does. It wasn't a "Billie Jean" kind of performance, and I wasn't blown away, but it was good.

Then came Archuleta, who was given Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me," and that's when the musical ass whoopin' began. If you've been reading my blogs at all, you know that I have never been much of an Archie supporter, but last night the guy was in it to win it. He showed more emotion in that first song than we've seen out of him all season. When I saw that performance I knew that Cook had no chance. Archuleta was just fueling the fire of his fans and anyone who may have been on the fence about who to vote for. It wasn't "flawless" like Randy wanted to pretend it was, he definitely tanked a couple of notes, but it was fantastic and it came at the crucial moment. I have to hand it to the kid, he did a great job. So round one went to Archuleta.

I'm going to pretend that round two never happened. The guys had to pick songs from the songwriter contest, which I think is completely unfair. I wish they would stop doing that songwriter contest, the songs are always terrible, and it puts the contestants at such a disadvantage to have to sing them. Cook had no chance to regain some of his momentum in round two because of the song. So for me, round two was a draw. I have emptied it from my mind.

The Davids got to pick their own songs for the third and final round. David Cook sang Collective Soul's "The World I Know" and again, he did a great job. I loved the song and at the end he teared up, which makes me love him even more. I wanted to punch Paula when she told Cook he was "Standing in your truth." What does that even mean? Simon was right though, when he said that Cook should have sang "Hello" or "Billie Jean," the truth of which was borne out when Archuleta came out to sing his last song. Not that the Collective Soul song wasn't good, because it was, and any other night he would have killed with it, but what Simon was saying is that he should have used his last opportunity to remind voters of the amazing things he had done during this season. Which is exactly what Archuleta did.

For his final song, Archuleta reprised his performance of John Lennon's "Imagine." That was the performance early in the competition that made everyone say, "Here is the next American Idol." And when he sang it last night, even though it wasn't as good as the first time he performed it, it did exactly what he planned. We were all reminded of that moment when we first really took notice of him. So it was a very smart move. Cook really should have done the same thing. Instead of wanting to create a "progression" with a new song, he should have used some strategy and brought out one of his showstoppers from earlier in the competition. When Archuleta came out and sang "Imagine" for the second time, he guaranteed his win. Simon summeed it up when he said, "What we have witnessed, is a knockout."

I have to tell you, I voted for Cook last night. I've liked him all season and he did a great job last night, so I wanted to give him my support. But I don't think the results tonight will be a surprise to anyone. Archuleta has to win after the performances he gave last night. I can't see any way for Cook to pull a TKO out of this one.

Cooks Ill Bro Will Attend Finale. Cue Tears.

According to Extra, David Cook's brother Adam will attend the American Idol finale this week.

Extra says that, "The elder Cook flew into California yesterday morning accompanied by a nurse. Due to Adam's cancer battle, it is an unexpected surprise that he is able to attend the show."

Adam will be at both tonight's show and the big results show tomorrow. How awesome if D. Cook wins the show with his sick brother watching from the audience. I better go pick up some kleenex, stat.

Simon Explains His Fantasia Face

Check out this video of Simon Cowell on the Ellen show where he is completely candid about his reaction to Fantasia's performance on American Idol last week. It is a great interview and Simon comes off as a total sweetheart, which is a nice change for him!

It's All You David...and David

Just when I think i'm completely over American Idol, the show sucks me back in. Last night me and my husby were sitting on the couch crying along with David, David and Syesha during their video packages detailing their trips home. When little David broke into tears on stage at his High School I just wanted to wrap him in a swaddling blanket, put him on my shoulder and rock him until he felt better.

Last night was the best results show of the season, with no call-in bits or uncomfortable time filler (not counting the horrible group number and bizarre Ford "music video"). We got our best laugh of the evening during Fantasia Barrino's frenetic performance of "Bore Me" when we noticed that Simon had a look of complete disbelief on his face:

I was also pleased to note that Simon had on a white button-up instead of his usual grey T Shirt, although he had about two too many buttons undone.

So they get to the end of the show, and the results are revealed...No shocker, it's going to be a David/David finale. Poor Syesha was not in the least bit surprised or even distressed. She knew what was coming. She handled it nicely, sang her song and made a classy exit. She should be proud of herself. She made it to the top 3 after having been at the bottom of the voting results like 14 times. Not too shabby.

I'm actually looking forward to next week's show. At least the results are not easily predicted, both Davids have a lot of support and it could easily go either way. I've been voting for Cookie since all my faves have been gone, but I almost hope for his sake that he doesn't win. He will still get a record deal, and he won't be saddled with whatever horrible songs the 19 entertainment people will make him record.

So, I'm suddenly feeling revitalized with AI excitement and looking forward to next weeks showdown.

Nigel Lythgoe Speaks About Archuleta's Stage Dad

Here is what American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe has to say regarding David Archuleta's dad Jeff being banned from show rehearsals:

"He has been asked not to participate in the choice of music with David or be in the room when David is working out his routines that he wants to sing. He's fine to be in the studio -- nothing wrong with that. We just want David to be able to be free like everybody else to get on and do what they want to do.

There was a lyric change that happened that was a total misunderstanding. Just another, um, step along the way of us saying, 'Okay, this is what we want to happen from now on.'

...Let's take some pressure away here, you know? It's like anybody appearing in front of their mom and dad. Let's just open up the pressure cooker, release the pressure, and you just get on and do what you gotta do."

Pics are from VFTW...

Top 3 Show Leaves Me Bitter and Depressed

Jen P. just emailed me and said, "Where the hell is your Idol critique?" I told her that I'm having a hard time summoning enough enthusiasm to write anything about last night's show. I'm feeling some Idol burn out. It's been a long season, and things really aren't turning out the way I imagined they would 3 months ago. And the show last night, which should have been a top 3 spectacular, was really just so-so. And I'm sick of the David Archuleta hype. Randy is so obviously biased toward him that he can't say anything nice about anyone else. And their desire to get rid of Syesha is obvious to everyone. So, I feel that the show is letting me down. And I feel that the show has lost any integrity that it ever had this season. But I will perservere and try to articulate my thoughts.

Everyone gave their best performance during round one. Simon chose David Cook's song, "The First Time Ever I saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack. I thought this was a bizarre choice until I heard Cook belt it out. It was really good. He didn't change it up much, but his voice and rock edge made it sound fresh. I guess that Simon really knows his stuff.

Paula chose "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel for David Archuleta. It was OK. He sang it nicely in his usual manner. I just have a really hard time watching him perform. He's a sweet kid, but he does absolutely nothing for me. Speaking of Archuleta, did anyone but me think it was odd that during the video package, when David was being celebrated by his hometown, that his Dad was up on the stage right next to David just basking in his son's triumph. That guy lives totally through his son. I get the feeling that if the AI people would allow it, Jeff Archuleta would be on the American Idol stage during his son's performances. Sad.

Anyway, Syesha was given an Alicia Keys song by Randy, doesn't matter which one, and doesn't matter that she sang it well. They don't want her in the top two, so no one has much nice to say to her.

For round two, in which the contestants picked their own songs, they all flopped. Cook sang Switchfoot's ''Dare You to Move'' (which was different than the Collective Soul song Vote For The Worst's spoiler predicted. Of course that has now been changed to reflect actual events). It was one of his rare flat performances. I was hoping he would finally sing a Depeche Mode song for his brother, but maybe they couldn't get clearance (According to my reliable source Jen P., Cook's sick bro wants him to sing Depeche Mode on the show). Anyway, it wasn't good.

Syesha picked the classic Peggy Lee song "Fever" and I thought it was pretty good, other than the choreography with it's hint of striptease. Personally, I enjoyed it, but the judges all said it was the worng song for her, and not what they wanted to hear. The girl can't catch a break.

Archuleta had me squirming uncomfortably with his second song, Chris Brown's "With You." His voice was shaky and off key during the whole thing. And the poor kid cannot pull off lyrics like, “I need you boo” and “Hot little figure, yes you a winner.” I don't think I'm alone in my discomfort. Shockingly, the judges gave him the poor reviews he deserved. Even Randy couldn't call that performance, "A hot one."

For round three the producers should have come on stage to receive the critiques instead of the singers. Poor Syesha, the girl sang what they told her to, did the best she could with a song from an animated penguin movie, and the judges unanimously told her they didn't like the song. It didn't show them "Who she was." SHE DIDN"T PICK IT! Get off her back, geez. She's never been my fave, but the blatant bias against her is ridiculous.

Archuleta was given a Dan Fogelberg song, "Longer." Snore. Not his fault, but so boring.

Cook actually did great with Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing." I've never liked this song, but I liked his performance of it. I thought it was better than Aerosmith's.

Note to Simon: I know Diane Warren is your friend but "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" is NOT one of the best songs ever written. Give me a break.

Simon was right when he said David Cook won the night, and I place Syesha second. The only thing that can wake me out of my Idol lethargy would be a top 2 shakeup with Syesha edging out Archuleta. Unfortunately she doesn't have a popsicle's chance in hell to make the final. I'm sure she'll go home tonight, and I'm sure I couldn't care less. Phlurrgggg....

More Tears For Castro, Tonight's Songs

This week should be a great week on Idol. The contestants sing three songs each, one of which they choose themselves. Usually this turns out well, since the judges and producers are picking songs for the contestants which removes the possibility that they will pick out something really unsuitable for themselves, at least for two of the songs.

For me this week is bittersweet because in his EW exit interview Jason Castro says that he was going to sing Cary Brothers "Blue Eyes" this week. Seriously, that would have been a FABULOUS song for him. It's fresh, somewhat familiar but not too well known, it was written in this decade, which is nice, and it is in a nice range for his voice. If only he had been able to sing something like this instead of Andrew Lloyd Webber or Bob Marley. He still may not have made it to the top 3, but he maybe he wouldn't have come to such an ignominious end.

Jason cleared up some other issues and rumors in his exit interview with EW. On saying he wanted to go home:

"The fact of the matter that day was I was in a bad mood. I was frustrated with a lot of things. Then I got on the phone...I was just not in a good mood. I couldn't find a quiet place to talk...I couldn't focus...I don't even remember much of what I said. There are some days that are just like that. You just don't want to do what you are doing."

Did he say, "Don't Vote?"

"What I said was, 'Vote. Vote.' I said it twice trying to emphasize it. Then, when I was sitting down, I thought about it, and I thought it was going to look like I said, ''Don't vote.'' So the next time the camera came to me I just said, 'Vote.'''

Did he sabatoge himself so he could go home?

"I did not want to go home. But at the same time, now that it happened, I'm kind of glad. It all worked out like it was supposed to. I was reaching the point where I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't able to keep up and it all caught up with me."

On whether or not Simon sometimes rewrites music history to suit his own purposes:

"You know, sometimes he says things that are obviously wrong. But no, I wouldn't have said that to him. My mom taught me never to make a person look wrong. I am just respectful. It's my place to sing a song and his place to judge."

Even though the show is somewhat hollow for me now that all the contestants I was rooting for are gone, I still can't wait to see what everyone is singing tonight. I am putting all my vibes behind David Cook now, and he should have an interesting night. Vote For The Worst has somehow gotten a hold of some of the songs for tonight, so stop reading now if you don't want to know...

Archie:

His Choice: "With You" (Chris Brown)

Paula's Choice: "And So It Goes" (Billy Joel)

Nigel's Choice: "Longer" (Dan Fogelberg)

Syesha:

Her Choice: Unknown

Randy's Choice: "If I Ain't Got You" (Alicia Keys)

Nigel's Choice: Unknown

D. Cook:

His Choice: "The World I Know" (Collective Soul)

Simon's Choice: "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" (Roberta Flack)

Nigel's Choice: Unknown

Roberta Flack? That should be, uh, interesting.

Here's the link for the Castro interview.

Oh Ace, I Forgot Just How Cute You Are

Last night was one brillianty wacky Monday night of television on Fox. Starting with my new favorite "Bones," which guest starred both Ace Young and Brandon Rogers, past American Idol contestants. I love it when TV shows cross over. Like when the guys from Happy Days showed up on Laverne and Shirley, or when Briscoe and Curtis helped out the SVU team.

Neither Ace not Brandon actually spoke on the show, although they both did some singing (Does that earn them their SAG cards? Something to look into...). Ace smiled a lot and looked real pretty but, lucky for him, didn't actually have to play a corpse. The whole episode was peppered with references to AI, with Booth calling Brennan "Paula" at one point. At the end they all converge on a cabaret bar where Brennan gets on stage and starts singing an atrocious version of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" until Booth gets shot by a crazy stalker. Thankfully, it's not the season finale and we'll see next week whether Booth lives or dies. I can't imagine that they would kill him off since that would basically end the show.

The music theme continued on "House" where Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit (remember them?) played a bartender. He wasn't half bad. The show was fantastic and trippy, with an injured House slipping in and out of a hypnotic state to try and figure out a medical mystery related to a bus crash that he was involved in. I was holding my breath the last five minutes as House finally figured out that he was trying to remember Dr. Wilson's girlfriend Amber (cutthroat bitch) who had been seriously injured in the accident. It was so great! Can't wait for next weeks season finale.

I Think I've Dreamed This Scenario

To use some of that text-message lingo all the kids are using, OMG! It's a season finale collision of Bones and American Idol!

Two of my favorite shows have their wires crossed this week as Ace Young, the hottie from AI's fifth season, is guest starring on the season finale of Bones. Ace doesn't have to stretch much in his role as a dead rock musician whose murder is being investigated by Booth and Brennan. Ah, the irony.

Ace must have one heck of an agent because this guy hasn't been seen or heard from since his AI tour ended 2 years ago.

You can see Ace on the Bones season finale tonight at 8:00 pm on FOX.

UPDATE: My bad...This isn't the season finale.

Archie's Awful Stage Dad Is Out

Jeff Archuleta, father of American Idol favorite David Archuleta, has been banned from show rehearsals after meddling with a song that was to air after he had been warned by producers not to.

According to MSN, "Jeff Archuleta's intense backstage involvement had become a source of concern for the series, the person connected with 'American Idol' said — but it was a lyric change on Tuesday's show that pushed producers to act. Despite a warning, Jeff Archuleta insisted on altering 'Stand by Me,' one of two songs his son sang on the show Tuesday. By adding a verse from Sean Kingston's 'Beautiful Girls,' the father incurred additional costs for 'American Idol,' the person said."

The producers then told Archuleta he would no longer be allowed to help his son prepare for the show.

No one from either camp has commented publicly about the situation. We'll see this week how this will affect little David's performance.

9021 Uh Oh

Uh oh, Tori Spelling is gonna be pissed. Jennie Garth has signed on to reprise her role as Kelly Taylor in the updated Beverly Hills 90210 spinoff that's in the works. She'll play a guidance counselor at good old West Beverly High. Spelling was recently very open in the media about her desire to land a role in the new show, but was told "Don't call us, we'll call you." Meanwhile, the low-key Garth seems to have had no problem landing the job. Spelling must have turned the producers off with her breast milk and desperation.

You're Grossin' Me Out Madonna

I love Madonna, I do, but isn't she too old to be calling her tour "Sticky and Sweet"? Ugh, gross. She'll be 50 this year, maybe she should call it "Sweaty and Hormonal." Give it up lady, do your music, go on tour, fine. But don't try to entice us with albums called "Hard Candy" and tours called "Sticky and Sweet." Leave that to the young gals. And P.S. Stop making out with girls 30 years your junior. It's creepy.

Jason Castro Explains It All

In a Reuters interview a relieved Jason Castro on Thursday attributed his exit from American Idol to inexperience and the pressure of trying to learn two new songs every week for the hit television talent show.

Jason denies that he was trying to get booted from the show, but he said he was "freaking out" over having to learn three new songs for next week's show.

"I guess people were thinking I didn't want to be there, but that was never my mind-set," Castro, 20, told reporters in a conference call the morning after being voted off the show.

"It has just really been hard ... I was starting to fear the week ahead. Like, how can I do three songs?. I can't even do two ... I was freaking out about it.

"I really felt relief, like the pressure was off. I loved my time on there, and I would have liked to go farther, but I don't think I could have handled it," he said.

The guy only began learning guitar a couple of years ago and had played only a handful of performances before making it onto the show.

"It was just my inexperience," he said about forgetting the lyrics to "Mr. Tambourine Man" Tuesday.

"I am as raw as it gets. I have not done much of anything singing-wise ... I really had a hard time when it got up to two songs a week. I wasn't connecting to either one. I couldn't fall in love with them, and you need time for that," he said.

We know Jason, we know. We love you anyway...

He said, "Vote, vote."

Another week, another American Idol controversy. The internet is a-buzz with video of Jason Castro supposedly saying, "Don't vote," during Tuesday night's show. I don't get this. I watched for myself and it's pretty obvious that he says, "Vote, vote."

See the clip for yourselves here...

I Have Loved You Jason Castro

Last night's results show opened with a typically horrible dance number rendered all the more surreal due to the fact that the kids were singing "Reelin' in the Years" by Steely Dan. Did Donald Fagen approve that? I have to wonder. The thing is, for a few seconds when Jason Castro and David Cook were sing their solo parts of the song, it was awesome. They sounded better in that 20 seconds than they did in both of their songs the previous night. Had Jason only chosen a song like that, I might have been typing about a different elimination result right now.

But Jason didn't sing Steely Dan, he sang the Bobs (Marley and Dylan) so he's spending the day doing exit interviews and I'm spending the day drinking cosmopolitans and watching all of his You Tube videos one by one (they're virgin, I have little kids running around here).

Yes, Jason has been voted off. And he seemed happy about it. I have never seen him so full of energy. After he was given the bad news, he was laughing and smiling as if he had won the whole show. And during his swan song he was laughing maniacally. I honestly think he was relieved. I heard him say to Ryan, after Ruben was done celebrating him home, "It was three songs next week...I don't know what I would have done."

Well, you know what Castro, I don't know what I will do without your hotness to watch for during next week's show. I like David Cook and all, but for me, now it doesn't matter. All my faves are gone, the hottest piece of eye candy to ever grace the Idol stage is gone, and I feel very, very empty. Thus the (virgin) cosmo's. Jason, if you can hear me, I love you. Yours may very well be the very first Idol contestant CD that I purchase.

Other thoughts from the results show:

• I hope Kristy Lee was watching, because Syesha could give her some pointers on how to put an outfit together that includes a sequined tank top (hint: you shouldn't wear it with cowboy boots).

• The producers could have put together a tight half-hour show had they cut out the stupid call in bit and Maroon 5.

• Bo Bice rocks!

Farewell Jason...I'm toasting you today!

It's Jen P.'s Morning After Email

Jen P. knows we're all waiting..."for my thoughts on last night's 'Rock & Roll Hall of Shame' night. Here goes:

I knew my David Cook was in rough waters after the first chorus of "do-do-do-do...do-do-do...do-do-do...do-do-do...do-do". For one, I didn't realize that Duran Duran had a spot in the Hall of Fame and I was flabbergasted that David didn't even know the damn song. What?! What kind of jukebox did they have in that bar he worked at?!

So, as I was watching the show via TIVO at 9:15, I just picked up the phone as soon as they announced David C's numbers to call. I dialed the "05" number about 50 times...getting through EVERY time. Uh-oh! I'm worried that this will be a bad replay of the Michael John's catastrophe. $#@&!!!!

And my prediction was wrong about David A. I did like his arrangement of "Stand By Me", but I can't stand the whole mini-Joe Cocker shaking thing he does. I notice that once he gets a few yelps and woo-hoos from the crowd that he starts closing his eyes and singing a little bit stronger. I even had an absolutely eerie moment after watching his performance; I turned to my husband after the judges comments and said that its become so annoying and predictable that when David gets praise, he acts like he's going to pass out from shock....AND THEN RYAN SAID THE SAME THING! What the hell? I should be hosting the show! I'm Ryan's Dunkleman! My husband tried to test me and paused the TIVO and said "Ok, smartie pants, what's Ryan going to say next?" My reply?: "Duh...If you want to vote for David, the numbers are..." I think he's a believer now, too...lol.

After the show was over, I had a lot of fun re-enacting Syesha's moves during her hair throwing, circle turning performance. AND THE TEARS?! This is not the finale, sister! Is she really gonna cry over a bad review? I thought her tears started when Paula gave her the standing "o". I'd have cried too, I guess, if the crazy judge was in my corner. Anyway, I thought there was way too much airtime spent on Syesha and her crying.

I really liked Jason Castro's first song and was surprised to hear the judges rip him apart. I don't think he's leaving, though.

It'll be an interesting results show. Cross your fingers for David C, ok?"

The Top 4 -- A Festival Of Mediocrity

The thing that really stood out for me during AI the Rock and Roll show was how incredibly biased Randy Jackson is toward David Archuleta at this point. Little David could sing Happy Birthday while taking a crap on the AI stage and Randy would pronounce it 'Da Bomb. At least if D. Arch did sing Happy Birthday while taking a crap it would be interesting. It would keep my attention. It would keep me awake during the show.

Instead he chooses to sing the oldest, most tired chestnuts he could dig up and the judges loved it. The kid is 17 years old, the theme is Rock and Roll and he sings Elvis and Ben E. King. Can't he sing something a bit more comtemporary, a bit more uptempo? It's like he's determined to be a 45 year old lounge singer. Maybe they should just let him win, right now, since he is the only one who will do justice to whatever schlocky single the 19 media people will want him to record.

What can I even say about his two songs? They were OK. He has a good voice, we know that, although I think it's nasally and overrated. He leaves me completely unimpressed.

And yes I'm a little cranky about last night's show. I can't help it after watching the last favorite that I have remaining on the show crash and burn. During Jason Castro's video package leading in to his second song, he mentioned that he was going to, "Stick with the Bobs...You can't go wrong." Well, sorry Castro, but you can go wrong. Very, very wrong.

His version of "I Shot the Sheriff" was a mess, there was no real vocal to speak of, he did nothing new to the arrangement. It was awful. And the second song, "Mr. Tambourine Man," was even worse. He forgot the lyrics, and he just didn't sound good. I don't know why he thought these two stoner anthem would be good song selections for American Idol. Especially at this crucial point in the show. I can only conclude that whether he realizes it or not, he is sabatoging himself. He really doesn't want to make it into that top 3. And I am sure that his wish will be granted.

David Cook was pretty good, as usual. He gave Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" a hard edge that it didn't have in the original version. But there was nothing new or unexpected about it. With David Cook we've come to expect the unexpected, and when he just sings a song in the traditional arrangement I for one am a bit let down. Same with his "Baba O'Riley" (the song that I always thought was called Teenage Wasteland, not really a big Who fan). I mean, I liked the way he sang it, as I like the way he sings almost everything. It just wasn't anything new. No worries for D. Cook, I'm sure he will be in the big finale, and rightfully so.

For me, the shining light of the night was Syesha. I have really resisted Syesha this season. I was surprised that she made it as far as she did, but I have to give the girl props. She has really brought the heat in the last few weeks, just getting better and better and better. Her "Proud Mary" was a little over the top with all of the Tina Turner dancing and whatnot, but as Randy would say, "She worked it out." But I thought she outsang everybody with her rendition of Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come." So I was really surprised and suspicious when Randy slammed her in his critique, saying that she was, "Trying for things that weren't there." Hello? What about that final note dawg? What does the guy want? I'm willing to bet if David Archuleta wasn't there Randy would have done a back flip over Syesha's performance.

Luckily, the other two judges are quite so obviously in Little David's back pocket and gave Syesha the accolades she deserved. Paula called it "beautiful" and Simon reassured her that "Randy got that utterly wrong."

And Syesha, in what for me was an incredibly touching moment, broke down and cried on the stage during Paula and Simon's critiques. It was so real and gave us a glimpse beyond Syesha's "actress" facade. I felt it made her all the more likeable to know that she is feeling the pressure like everyone else. And as Randy sputtered and tried to defend himself, Ryan (who as you may have noticed has redeemed himself a little in my eyes lately) cracked the best joke of the season, urging Randy to hurry up because "We're running out of time, Hell's Kitchen is gonna start."

All in all, I was incredibly disappointed by Rock and Roll night. I was just expecting so much more. And the beautiful Jason will probably be packing his bags later tonight. What more can I say. Phlerggg.

It's Rock and Roll Night

I know it's close to showtime, but if you don't want to know what the four remaining contestants are singing tonight, skip this post.

Tonights theme is Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or somthing to that effect. Thanks to TMZ, here is tonight's song list:

David Archuleta -- "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King and "Love Me Tender" by Elvis and Norah Jones.

David Cook -- "Baba O'Riley" by The Who and "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran.

Jason Castro -- "Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan and "I Shot The Sherrif" by Bob Marley as covered by Eric Clapton.

Syesha Mercado -- "Proud Mary" by CCR /Tina Turner and "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke.

So, it's pretty clear to me that, barring something crazy happening, David Cook will kick everyone's ass tonight. He picked great songs that are perfect for his style (Although I am wondering what he will do to update "Hungry Like the Wolf"). Jason Castro is not doing anything to help his pothead image by picking these two stoner classics. I am looking forward to hearing them though. I am wondering a little why David Archuleta would choose "Stand By Me." I really wish he would sing something more contemporary, not this tired old retread. "Love Me Tender" has some potential if he sings it at the piano like Jen P. predicted. Syesha will rock her songs I'm sure, but it doesn't matter because she won't win.

Anyway, looking forward to 8:00 p.m.

What Does Jason Look Like Under That Hair?

It's a younger Jason Castro sans dreads. Cute, no?

Whoa!

Can you guess who this is?

It's Anna Chlumsky, the girl who played Vada Sultenfuss in the "My Girl" movies. All grown up and seriously gorgeous. She's back in the Biz and making a movie with James Gandolfini.

Man I feel old.

Jason Castro Wants To Go Home?

In an EW interview Jason Castro hints that he wants to get voted off.

"I'll get around to practicing," he promised the EW reporter, after noting that his brother and a friend had visited over the weekend and that his Saturday meeting with Diamond had gone "really bad" because he didn't yet know his songs. "What happens happens. I'll sing and if people like it, they like it. And if they don't, they don't. I'm kind of ready to go home.

"It's been overwhelming," Castro continued. "I got 150 balloons yesterday delivered to the studio because people heard I was sick last week. That's cool, but that's just weird."

Please don't do this to me Castro. Stop yawning, start practicing, and try to make it to the top 3. I get what you're saying, I totally do. I think you are a shy guy for whom this whole experience has been a bit overwhelming, but you gotta try. For me. Please.

I'll stop crying now...

Goodbye Brooke

At the half-way point of last night's results show I really thought that they were going to keep it at a crisp 1/2 hour instead of the hour long schlockfest they've done all season. Ryan had kept up a brisk pace, quickly sending all the guys over to safety on the sofa (I had a moment of worry when Jason was waiting to hear his fate) leaving the two gals on the chopping block. He even took a few minutes to quickly "clear up" the PaulaGate situation, in the process confusing everybody that much more.

(What were the rumors? Was Paula supposed to be fired? What if instead of the contestants Ryan brought Paula onto the stage and told her she would be the one leaving us last night? That would have been fantastic.)

Anyway, by 9:28 Brooke and Syesha were standing on the stage with Ryan apparently about to learn who was heading home. I was whispering to myself, "Say it, Ryan, say it," but of course he didn't say it. We had to sit through Natasha Bedingfield singing some crap song and attempt to make out illegally with David Archuleta, Neil Diamond doing his arthritic thang, and a really, really lame call-in bit. Does anyone believe that Tara Miller, Simon's first kiss at 9 years old just happened to call in to the show all on her own? I didn't think so. I have to give it to Ryan, though, he pointed out to all the kids at home that 9 years old is too young to be kissing, getting the best laugh of the evening.



Finally we came to the moment of truth, and Brooke was sent home to Nannyville. It wasn't a surprise, especially not to Brooke herself, but I was still a bit sad. I have loved Brooke since the auditions. She doesn't have an amazing voice by any means, but sometimes it's not about that. When she get's it right ("Love is a Battlefield," "You're So Vain," "Let It Be") you get a feeling of authenticity from her. And even when she gets it wrong ("You Must Love Me," "I'm A Believer") she's just so sweet and self-effacing that you can't help but like her. I'll miss her interrupting the judges and I'll miss her adorable husband sitting in the audience cheering her on. So good luck Brooke, and here is my tribute to you:

Jen P. Chimes In On PaulaGate

Jen P. shares her thoughts on the Paula flap:

I was there, you were there....there was no scripted sequence of events when Paula became an even bigger idiot on television on Tuesday. She had NO previous notes from the dress rehearsal, but I do think that she was reading someone's live performance notes and thinking of Jason's rehearsal performance. I think she was just way flustered by having to wing it...she's always at a loss for words anyway. If she'd have only stuck to commenting on their wardrobe, eh?..... I could tell that she was a bit anxious when the subject was broached during the results show last night. Her posture and expression immediately changed; like the crowd was going to burst into chants of "Paula's Cukoo" or start throwing rotten tomatoes at her. This kind of thing makes Idol more fun and much better water cooler talk, and to think we were present for PaulaGate is very, very cool! It may become one of those "point in time" references where every single person in America knows exactly where they were when it happened and we can say that we were just feet away from the moron herself!

On another Idol note, Brooke's been ousted this week. My first thought: what's Syesha to do with no more roommates? I was actually very surprised that Brooke got voted out. I would have thought her to have a much bigger fan base than Syesha...which now really worries me. Who the hell is voting for Syesha? Are there that many Broadway and cruise ship people?

I could have knocked Natasha B out last night when she just had to go over and hug David Archusickofmeyet. She could have done all that after the show, had her private moment or whatever...so why the heck make a fool of her 26 year old self by side hugging little David like a new pet? So weird. Hate her now. I still predict a David vs David finale. I hope they let Cook change up the predictable/sappy/top 40/fan written finale song to his liking. Otherwise, there may be an unfair advantage like last year's song that was absolutely not suited for Blake. They should let the contestants write their own damn songs for the finale....now that would be some entertainment!